Its All Over Now

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My gosh where do I begin? When I left off last time we were just discharged from the hospital and were home just waiting for Cassidy to hopefully get better. We woke up the next morning and Cassidy was now throwing up as well and still had her 105 fever. I texted her pediatrician and he said to come back in right away, he was going to refer me to the childrens hospital right then. We were forced to take an ambulance ride, I could not drive Cassidy myself. It was a 2 hour drive and they would not let me in the back with her. I had to sit up front with the driver. Pure torture! At this point Cassidy had an IV in and was receiving fluids (even though she wasn’t dehydrated at all, they were just doing anything they could think of). This picture is one of my worst nightmares. Not really even sure why I took it. They had told me I had to back up and couldn’t touch her anymore and I guess I was standing there helpless. She was strapped to the gurney in the baby harness. They told me she slept the majority of the ride and kept calling up front to update me.

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When we got to the hospital, they drew countless vials of blood. It was scary since she is so tiny and they take so much blood. They also did another urinalysis. Everything came back perfect besides her white blood cell count which just indicated she had some sort of infection but no specific information. We went to sleep that night and they gave her Tylenol and Motrin since her fever was so high. Well apparently her body can’t handle both at the same time because her fever dropped fast and way too low. Her temperature was then 94. They had to put her in an incubator to warm her up. Well actually we were both put in the incubator. It was a warmer they placed over my bed. I refused to let my sick baby lay in a crib by herself so they took it out of the room and got us a bed to share. I had to sign a waiver in case she fell out, which wasn’t going to happen because its not like I actually slept. I laid there, held her, kissed her, watched her vitals, and felt her breathing on me.

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They warmed her back to 98.6 and then what happened next? yep, it kept climbing right back up to 105. That next day, she got a CT scan done to check for a brain abscess. Clear, thank God. Then she had to get a spinal tap…horrible! They had to put her under and made me leave the room. When I came back she was still asleep but I got to hold her as she woke up. After the lumbar puncture I noticed she had a fever but not a 105. I had gotten really good about touching her forehead and predicting her fever. Like too good. I guessed within 0.2 degrees each time. It was about 103 and they were going to give her Motrin. I told them I wanted to hold off because I felt she was getting better and we would never know if she was on Motrin if her fever was lower because of medicine or because she felt better. She slept for 5 hours after the spinal tap and woke up groggy but with a 101 fever. I was hopeful. The next morning…no fever at all! Lys came to visit her and it made Cassidy so happy! I also refused to let them put her in a hospital gown. I was holding it together relatively well but if I saw my baby in a tiny gown I would have lost it completely.

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They made us stay for 24 hours fever free for monitoring then we were discharged late Saturday night.

So what was wrong with Cassidy? Not a clue. We saw 5 different ER doctors, 4 pediatricians, 8 pediatric specialists, and 5 Infectious Disease doctors. No one knew. Their best guess was just the nastiest virus they had ever seen since every test they ran came back normal. They did give her IV antibiotics every night we were there so maybe that helped if it was bacterial. Who knows. I don’t care as long as my baby is better. We have a follow up with her pediatrician tomorrow then one with the Infectious Disease doctors Thursday. This was my happy girl tonight at dinner, eating her peas. Would never know how rough the last 12 days were for her!

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And how had healthy living, working out, cooking, etc fit into my last 2 weeks. Well it hasn’t…at all. I have been purely in survival mode. I have not worked out once and I couldn’t care less. One night in the hospital Cassidy fell asleep on me during the time they had dinner at the hospital so I sat there and held her and ate what the nurses could bring me from the family snack room. I had poptarts and saltenes dipped in peanut butter along with granola bars, peanut butter crackers,  graham crackers, a 1/2 lb bag of pretzels, and 2 things of ice cream. I was going for anything with calories at this point so I made sure my milk supply didn’t diminish. After that I requested hospital food delivered to my room. Since I wasn’t the patient I didn’t get fed but they signed me up as a breastfeeding mom. I requested 2 trays per meal because lets be honest, I eat more than the average person. I got green beans one night actually but how does one mess up canned green beans? They were gross but I still ate it all. I had lost a couple of pounds so I needed to make sure I was eating enough to make enough milk for Cassidy. Her appetite was actually higher while she was sick because she had pharyngitis (swollen red throat) so she didn’t want solid foods at all but the warm breastmilk must have soothed her throat.

Today, I was still starving. My mom had left a potpie in the refrigerator for me. I made this dent all by myself…

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Yes, that was a 9 by 13 pan of chicken pot pie and yes, I ate over half of it. Along with an entire bag of chex mix (like the big bag), 2 cookies, and the rest of the ice cream with crushed pretzels.

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For me, eating unhealthy does not mean gaining weight. If anything I somehow lost weight. The combination of the stress, increased breastfeeding, and lack of food for a couple days did it I guess. But in the last day or two I have been able to gain it back (which is part of the reason for the 1000 calorie bag of chex mix as a snack).

Tomorrow I hope my life goes back to normal. I want more than 1 hour of sleep at a time. However Cassidy is now used to eating all throughout the night and being woken up for tests, blood draws, etc. I expect lots of wake ups which is far from her normal 12 hours straight she used to sleep. Lets hope she goes back to normal quickly. I hope to be back to working out this week, today may be straight sleep catch up though. If I don’t take care of myself I can’t take care of my babies.

So given these last 2 weeks, I sit here and think, man this has sucked, I am really unlucky lately! But then I think again, I am really lucky! The end result is that she is better and completely healthy! So we had a rough time but its all ok now and I am beyond grateful. It was scary there for a little while. And is still a little scary since we don’t know what was wrong so if it for some reason came back, we still don’t know. But lets just assume that won’t happen!

Whew, sorry for the wordy post…back to workouts, recipes, and food the rest of the week! I can’t wait to eat a huge salad as part of my lunch and do a sweaty Tabata workout!

Oh and want to hear the most unreal thing someone said to me during this whole ordeal? I was in the ER, my baby had just gotten an IV stuck in her arm (which took about 10 sticks and 3 people because apprently she is a “hard stick”), shes miserable and crying. We had to step to the side to allow a man having a heart attack be wheeled through. Another man steps out from behind the curtain I am standing next to and says “Um, can your baby stop crying? my wife has a migraine”. That man is lucky he didnt get a black eye. I may have used a few choice words though. As if I wanted my baby to cry. I then heard his wife complaining this was not how she wanted to spend her day off. I would have killed to have a migraine for 1 day instead of watching my baby go through hell for 12 days! I actually ended up whipping out my boobs standing up in the middle of the er to feed and finally soothe her.

And one of my favorite quotes this weekend (aside from “Cassidy can go home from the hospital now”) was from Alyssa. She walked up to me with a matching game and said “Hey Mom, wanna be beat by a 3 and a half year old?”. Just as sassy as can be. And you know what, she did beat me. Legit, I did not let her win.

Hope your weekend was less eventful than mine!

14 responses »

  1. What a beautiful sight seeing Cassidy eating her peas…that bright eyed dimple filled smile is back!!!…it is so lonely here at work…wish I was back with you and the girls…seriously let’s find something to do in May…might as well…cant figure a better way to spend my time…was worried the pot pie didnt have enof spice…looks like it was OK!!!…LOL…ILY!!

  2. Yay! I’m so glad your baby is better! I hope you got some sleep and that she did too. You have your priorities straight- being able to accept a few weeks of little exercise and a diet with things you might not normally eat is so admirable! You are an awesome Mom. Whoa- that story about the migraine couple at the end of your post made me so angry! Some people are terrible! Have a great week!

    • I agree but you’d be suprised how many babies did not have a single visitor (parents included) the 3 days I was on the children’s ward. Just sick babies laying in hospital cribs, broke my heart! Some people really have their priorities messed up!

  3. Oh. my. gosh. I am just getting caught up and cannot believe what you have been through. I’m so grateful that everything turned out ok. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been.

  4. What a week for your family! I’m so glad to hear she’s feeling better and I hope she gets back on track with eating, sleeping, etc. So scary that there was never a diagnosis, sounds like one awful virus. We have not had an ER visit yet with L, I hope we never do, but I know those things happen!

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